~ * ~ thoughts... considerations... and other notes on life ~ * ~

a puddle
a small pool
once a solid
now a slippery mess

i am
not even putty
i am more fluid
more flexible
more translucent

a collection
of liquid
a sweet smelling gel
ready
to be absorbed
into you

bring on the heat
i'm ready
to melt
further
into you

What's the best compliment you've received lately?

The most frequent compliment is easy.... Kim... I love your hair!  I got my hair cut and really blonded in stronger highlights about 4 weeks ago and it is still shocking people.  It has been fun but I'm feeling like it needs a touch up and I have to go until July 25....  how DO you hold out for your hair appointment date?  Having had long hair and worn it up on top of my head for years (in the bun of doom) I am just out of practice with this whole hairdresser scene.

The  BEST compliment?  I had someone I really admire as a teacher, as a trainer, and as an innovator tell me a few days ago how impressed she was with our conference.  It made me beam.  Yes, she had had 2 martinis and was sipping a Guiness at the time -- but she was sincere and articulated her compliment in a most sober manner. Our conference was a first ever for our organization.  We had hosted many on our own but never conducted our own from start to finish, top to bottom.  It felt really really good to have that said.

A close runner up was from my former boss.  Her last day was Tuesday and I was away traveling for work.  I sent her an email after surfing for the perfect ecard and coming up empty.  It was a heartfelt email expressing how much I appreciated her as a mentor and how much I had learned from her over the past 9 years.  I hope it made her cry.. in a good way.  I hope it was genuine enough for her to really know I will miss her.  She responded with a simple "ditto."  I took that as a compliment.  Short, sweet.  Sometimes just knowing... just in one word... is enough of a compliment.

kids
machines
media

bills
deadlines
expectations

priorities
rank
obligation

a swirling mass
surrounding my head
suffocating my soul

searching frantically
for a mute
for an escape hatch
for a breath

i open my mouth
i shut my ears
i feel my heart
empty
my soul scorched

a white flag
covers
my naked frame
i am
nothing
i am one
with
the noise

tiny opening
peek in
and see only as far as a twist
and a turn

no nothing of beyond
constricted
a shoot of sorts
a wild ride
through darkness
and light
and dark again

into new dimensions
into bright lights and extreme happiness
into great depths and dark dark
vast emptiness

the slide continues
only faith
can serve as a seatbelt
on the wild
neverending
ride

what will become
what is
what was
the only dependable factor
is uncertainty

the only sureness
is what lies within
if you're well equipped
for the ride
no matter what shape
no matter what twists
no matter what turns
what lies within
will carry
will protect

blind faith
i follow the next turn
holding my breath
knowing
only
what is
within
my own chest
quietly
beating
alone
echoing
in the silence

vigorously pursued...
even visited in RL
someone pushed his way into
my very full life

made room
took over
large portions
of time
of laughter
of friendship

despite my refusal
and warnings
and cautions
and questions

so
reluctantly
i opened the door
opened my heart
made room

and then was told
not enough
no 3rd wheel

in fact
now that i have room
i want to be
THE wheel

because I cannot
I want no seat
I want no part
of anything
that is
you

slipping quietly into the top balcony
i ask my partner
of more than 14 years
to dance
to keep me safe

despite all his faults
he is mine
he is my refuge
from those
who no longer find me
worth
a smile
or a laugh

safe in his arms
we find solace
in knowing
our faults
and loving
the unconditional path
that has woven our lives
together

minds and hearts wander
but
my refuge remains
the one who knows
my heart is too soft
too open
too ready to love
and easy to fall

my sweet d
thank you
for loving me
even when
happy is far far away
and weary
is the song
filling my
heart

I have been blogging and exploring virtual worlds for a year now.  I can't decide whether I'm bored or tired or just in a creative lull.  My wordpress blog is dear to my heart but suffering for attention.  I don't feel very reSLient these days. I just feel like starting something new.  Maybe VOX is the place to start that something new.

Happy Mood Exploring3 - to the sculpted tree3_001

So what will become of the other... and what will become of this?  I'm not quite sure.  I'll be curious to see who finds me here.  I'm feeling tremendous let down these days as my SLife grows and changes in new ways.  I'm feeling tremendous love and support from those who always were that for me -- and I am thankful for those tried and true in my life--- first and second.

I suppose at the end of the day it is all about who wishes us sweet dreams and hugs us tight to send us off to dream about things bigger and better than the world we live in day to day.  I'm thankful for those closet to my heart who fit that bill.

Bumpy roads.  Bumps to reminds me of what really matters, of who is willing to be in my life for the long haul, and who helps hold it all together as we rattle along together.